Alright Alfie, sit down, stop picking your nose and listen, this is very important. Ok Alfie, now listen. You’re getting older, and you’re gonna start having a lot of questions, so I think it’s time I told you about the facts of life. Yes, we are going to have the talk. I know your classmates all talk about what their parents have told them, and now it’s your turn. It’s time to learn about the Dragons and the Demons.
The Dragons are always overhead, and they are always hungry. This is why Mommy and Daddy don’t take vacations in undeveloped countries. If you see a Dragon, call 555, and hide. A Dragon may try to talk to you. Don’t engage them. Just hide.
Demons are worse. There’s many different kinds of Demons. They’re all horrible. Sometimes they can look just like Mommy and Daddy. If any one of us starts acting weird, call 555 and go to the neighbors. If a stranger on the street asks you to help them look for their lost puppy, run away, because they’re probably a Demon. If you see anyone or anything acting strange or looking strange, don’t look directly at it. Just call 555, and hide.
Alfie, in a few years you’re gonna be a grown up just like me, and the world we live in is strange and often fuc – I mean, it’s terrifying. It’s my job to teach you how to be safe. So I have to tell you – do not EVER associate with mages or casters of any kind. They are dangerous people who lead dangerous lifestyles and undermine the very fabric of our society. They WANT the Demons and the Dragons to run rampant. They want to subjugate us – that means rule over us Alfie – they want to rule over us normal people.
Alright, you understood all that Alfie? Good. If you have any questions just ask me or your mom. Now go out and play. Be safe. Be good.